"About me" pages can be so boring! Help make mine interesting by submitting questions for consideration here.
Once upon a time I was a very "edgy" teen. The kind of teen who thought Johnny the Homicidal Maniac was the height of satire and coolness, and everything looked better in pinstriped black and purple.
I once happened upon a gravestone with the name "Lucious Ash" on it. Thinking this sounded like the most victorian, badass, Tim Burtonesque name that ever existed it quickly became my handle on all kinds of profiles and accounts.
Fast forward a few years and I was working in a soul sucking call center customer service job. The only thing keeping my sanity intact was the forum on a B-tier cellphone review site called Phonescoop. You see, the company I worked for had net-nannied 99% of the internet away from us, but let us have access to a few "relevant" sites such as Phonescoop. What they didn't realize for many years was that Phonescoop had a forum with an off-topic channel. It turns out, hundreds+ of employees across the US (and the Phillipines) were in a similar situation to me. This forum became a weird little oasis that many of us spent literal hours on every day between calls (and often in the middle of particularly heinous or boring calls). The owner of the site knew that this little section of his forum had become a safe haven and let it exist for many years, tolerating our shenanigans (for the most part).
Over time, many of us had created new usernames as in-jokes or characters on the forums (or in response to being blocked for various mischief). One day one of my good friends "Joben" (which itself was a 4th or 5th iteration of that person's username) changed his name to "Joby Dick" in response to a thread that had been started. I then changed my name from "Lucious Ash" to "Captain Ahash" to start a virtual feud, hunting the great white whale Joby across the forum. "Captain Ahash" soon replaced Lucious Ash on many of my profiles (I had long gotten tired of "luscious ass?! hahaha" from randos in lobbies anyways).
As it turned out, I quit soon afterwards, and slowly drifted away from the Phonescoop forums. But for whatever reason, Captain Ahash stuck, often being shortened to simply "Captain" or "the Captain." In the very least, it's a nice reminder of a good thing from a very hard time in my life. And of course, who is going to argue with a title like "captain"?! :P
(officially pronounced "ay-hash" btw, like "Captain Ahab," the name it's based on. Not "uh-hash" or "ah-hash.")
Well, points for originality on the first submission!
This is a tough one. Do I go for the security and stability of a mollusk? Or the freedom and wild abandon of a fish?
Well, luckily I googled "mollusks" and was reminded that the octopus is in the mollusk family, so my choice is clear. Who wouldn't want to be an octopus; one of the coolest animals on the planet?!